Want a “free” copy of Flaherty’s Crossing??

Send me your favorite Irish joke or limerick by June 20th and if picked, you’ll win a free copy (paperback or eBook format) of Flaherty’s Crossing and have your entry posted on four of my most popular sites. So what are you waiting for? Tickle my fancy…

Kaylin McFarren
Stories that touch the soul…

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11 thoughts on “Want a “free” copy of Flaherty’s Crossing??

  1. (a classic)

    A man stumbles up to the only other guy at the bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
    “Of course,”the other guy says.
    The first man asks, “Where are ye from?”
    “Me? I’m from Ireland,” says the other.
    “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have a toast to Ireland.”
    “There’s no finer place on God’s earth,” says the other.
    “So from where in Ireland do ye hail?”
    The other puffs up his chest and says, “I’m from Dublin.”
    “Saints preserve us! I’m from Dublin too! Let’s tip a glass to Dublin.”
    “And so we shall” says the other.
    The first man asks, “And what school did ye go to?”
    “Why, Saint Mary’s” says the other, crossing himself. “Class of 19 and 75.”
    “Unbelievable!” the first man says. “I went to Saint Mary’s and graduated in 19 and 75 too!”
    “Poor Father O’Malley!” they shouted in unison, and then burst out laughing.
    Now another guy comes up to the bar and says to the barkeep, “Evening Seamus, how’s business tonight?”
    “It’s been pretty quiet,” comes the reply, “but the O’Malley twins are drunk again.”

  2. Hey…did you hear the one about two Irishmen talking in the bar?

    One said to the other, “I’ve got me a cow that tells jokes.”

    The other reared back, his eyes wide. “You don’t say?”

    “That’s right, he remembers the punch line, and everything.”

    The other man, rolled his eyes heavenward and blustered, “Now that is udder nonsense!”

    Groannnner! Hey, mama-pixie, you didn’t say they had to be good! ☺ Hoot!

  3. A Swiss man, on holiday in Dublin, needed directions. He was standing outside Davy Byrne’s pub when he saw two youths walking by so he stops them and asks, ‘Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?’

    The two lads look at each other blankly and stare back at him.

    ‘Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français?’ He tries.

    The two continue to stare.

    ‘Parlare Italiano?’ Still absolutely no response from the two lads.

    ‘Hablan ustedes Espanol?’ The Dublin lads remain totally silent.

    The Swiss guy walks off extremely disappointed and downhearted that he had not been understood. One of the boys turns to the second and says, ‘Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language!’

    ‘Why?’ says the youth, ‘That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good!’

  4. Paddy Murphy arrived at Boston’s Logon airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. A Texan asked him if he was homesick.

    ‘No,’ replied the Irishman. ‘It’s worse, I’ve lost all me luggage.’

    ‘That’s terrible, how did that happen?’

    ‘The cork fell out of me bottle.’ Said Paddy.

  5. A passer-by watched two Irishmen in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again.

    ‘Tell me,’ said the passer-by, ‘What on earth are you doing?’

    ‘Well,’ said the digger, ‘Usually there are three of us. I dig, Fergal plants the tree and Sean fills in the hole.

    Today Fergal is away unwell, but that doesn’t mean Sean and I have to take the day off, does it?’

  6. a certain young fellow named Bee-Bee
    wished to wed a young woman named Phoebe.
    “but”, he said, “I must see
    what the clerical fee
    be before Phoebe be Bee-Bee

  7. Paddy was a member of a pipe band. After the parade, the whole band went into the local pub and overly partook.
    Later, a young American tourist, a lady teacher, was walking down the lane. She saw Paddy dressed in the kilt sleeping under a tree. She had always wondered what the Scots and Irish wore under that skirt.
    She lifted it up and seeing what was there, she removed a blue ribbon from her hair and carefully tied it around his pride and joy.
    Later, Paddy woke up and, of course, the first business was to pee.
    He looked at his pride and joy and said, “Well, I dinna know what you’ve been up to, but I’m certainly glad you won fairst prize.”

  8. Here’s one of my favorites:

    A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

    The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.

    Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?” asks the Irishman.

    The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.

    The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

    The Irishman replies, “Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”

  9. That naughty Patty Murphy has been seeing another man during the day while her hard working husband, Thomas, is out earning wages. One day her 8-year-old son, Michael, arrives home early from school quite unexpectedly, and bounds up to the master bedroom looking for his mum. The boy catches Patty and her lover in bed together, so Patty quickly pushes Michael into the closet and shuts the door because she doesn‘t know what else to do.

    Just at that moment, as fate would have it, her hard working husband, Thomas, also comes home early unexpectedly seeking a little afternoon rendezvous with his wife. Thomas is downstairs shouting, “Patty, I’m home. Where are you, my love?”

    Patty nervously pushes her lover into the closet with Michael.
    The little boy quietly says, “Dark in here.”
    Patty’s lover quietly replies, “Yes, it is.”
    Michael whispers, “I have a skateboard.”
    Says the lover, “That’s nice.”
    Michael senses an opportunity and asks, “Want to buy it?”
    “No, thanks,” answers the lover.
    “But, my dad’s outside,” counters Michael in a slightly louder voice.
    The lover catches on and quietly asks, “Ah! I see! How much?”
    Michael replies, “Only $500.”

    Two weeks later the same thing happens all over again. Michael and the lover are again inside the closet together.
    Says Michael quietly, “Dark in here.”
    The lover whispers, “Yes, it is.”
    Michael quietly says, “I have a helmet.”
    The lover, recalling the blackmail from last time, asks the enterprising boy, “I’ll bet you do. How much?”
    Michael replies, “Just $300.”
    “Fine,” replies the lover.

    Just a few days later Thomas, the father, says to Michael, his son, “Go get your helmet and skateboard so you can show me how well you ride.”
    Michael replies, “I can’t, Dad. I sold them.”
    Thomas asks, “What! How much did you sell them for?”
    Says Michael, “$800.”
    Thomas replies, “Michael, that’s a terrible thing to overcharge your friends like that. That is much more than they are worth. We’re going to church and you are going to confess to Father O’Hara.”
    At the church Thomas takes Michael to the confessional and tells the lad to go inside, shutting the door behind him.
    Once inside the dark confessional Michael says, “Dark in here.”
    Father O’Hara replies, “Don’t start that crap again.”

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